Familius

Community

A beloved teacher of mine once said, “Community is a phenomenon of the spirit that comes and goes and must be deliberately sought after.” What did she mean? First, that “community” is not a “thing,” rather it is a shared bond amongst people. And this bond doesn’t just “happen”— it is the result of each member offering what he or she can to the greater good. We could say that community is more a “feeling” than it is a physical entity. And the feeling that generates from you and others giving of themselves is, in a word, love.

--from A Teen’s Guide to Success: How to Be Calm, Confident, Focused, releasing this May from Dr. Ben Berntstein

What Can We Learn from Teenagers?

Last night my son who believes his Gaelic name Kienan means "Awesome" said to me, "You're the greatest dad in the world." I knew he was lying but I told him I appreciated the vote of confidence. Teenagers are like that. They can drive you crazy one minute and then make your day the next. I've learned a lot from my teenagers. Teenagers are wired differentlyand they see the world differently. If we look past the little issues that can drive us crazy, we see a lot that can help us enjoy life. Most teens I know seem to really love life. 

To help inspire us, we've launched a new Lessons project--Lessons from my Teenager. We will be gathering entries for this new book through July of this year. The top 100 entries will be chosen for both the print and digital editions, releasing this October. The entries can be either something that you have learned from a teenager or something you learned as a teenager. 

As Lessons From My Parents received international attention, we are excited by this new project and what you will contribute.  For those interested in Lessons From My Parents, it releases this May. 

To learn more, simply click here: Lesssons From My Teenager

Interruptions

Life is full of interruptions. For some reason, no matter how obsessive we are, life doesn’t follow our plan. Sickness, financial struggles, unexpected visitors, phone calls, conferences, delays, death, depression, and many other challenges enter our life without invitation.

The first trick in any family is to anticipate that interruptions are part of life, to actually plan for disruption. If we do that it’s all part of the experience.

The second trick is to realize, whether we like it or not, that life is usually a tandem bike and we’re not the one steering. We’re in the back. Yes, we can peddle and can lean side to side, but someone else is definitely steering. The sooner we agree to the ride and stop trying to grab those handlebars, the more enjoyable our life will be, including the interruptions.

“I usually expect the worst. If anything else happens I’m pleasantly surprised.” —Benjamin Franklin

For more please read Life Happens by Teresa and Taralyn Clark, coming this September from Familius. 

Bad Decisions

This is all hypothetical of course, but if you are so busy and so sleep deprived that you schedule your return flight to be a month later than you need, you might consider slowing down. Working is good, but when you no longer are making good decisions, it’s time to stop, regroup, rest, and carefully ponder the next move.

Your family needs a good leader. Go get some rest. 

Delayed

Gossip

We've learned that whether what you say about a person is true or false, it's still gossip. 

“So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” —Will Smith

Midterms

Some of my sons received their midterm grades. We gathered to chat about them.

“Uh, you have an F in English.” my wife said to one.

“No, it’s a high F.” he said.

“A high F?” We both looked at each other. We’d never heard of this before.

“A high F? Like above middle C on the piano?”

“No,” he said confidently. “It’s between an F and a D-minus.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, my teacher says it’s a high F and that we can get it up pretty quick.”

OK. Sometimes approximating the behavior you’re looking for is worth celebrating.

“Congratulations on your high F.”

One More Degree

It takes 212 degrees to boil water. At 211, nothing important happens. And, then, with one more degree we get steam. And that steam can power a 400,000 pound locomotive.

Counsel your children to find that degree. Gain as much education as possible and their lives, your family, and the world will be improved by their effort.

“My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors.” —Maya Angelou

One Degree

Everyone’s compass is made up of 360 degrees. When you set your course, if you are even one degree off the result can be dramatic the farther and farther you travel from your original location. A plane traveling around the equator would be nearly 500 miles off course by the time it circumnavigated the globe if the pilot allowed one degree of error.

Consider your family goals. Do you know your destination? If you do are you on course? If not, we recommend you slow down and get your bearings. Don’t travel too far or you might miss your goal entirely.

“Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.” —Brad Henry 

Integrate

If you break down the word “Integrity” you can come to a derivative: Integrate. They both come from the same root, integrare, which means to renew, to restore, to make whole. If you compromise your integrity, you are disintegrated or separated into parts, or broken up, to deteriorated. In physics it would mean you decay.

This sounds painful, regardless of how it happens or the reasons why.

Be whole. Be integrated. Be renewed. Be restored. Be honest. Have integrity.

Your family will benefit from your character, and your character is one of the few things you actually own.