Familius

Telling Family Stories

I spent last weekend working at the Rootstech conference, a gathering of companies and individuals working to further genealogical research. While the main focus was using recent technology to facilitate finding your ancestors, one of the main themes of the conference was also finding and telling stories.

What became clear over three days is that our cultures are built on stories, whether those stories are of a pioneer family crossing the plains in the mid eighteen hundreds and the accompanying miracles or of the mythological battle of Gilgamesh or of why a family changed their name from Robbins to Robins (because one brother had a falling out with another).

Kim Weitcamp, a national storyteller and author, spoke on story and culture and mentioned that some of the story research suggests that teenagers who know their family’s stories are better able to manage stress in their life. This makes sense as it allows them to put things in perspective. It’s difficult to get too worked up over a test or teen drama when you know that your grandfather left school at age twelve to work fulltime in a coal mine to support his five younger siblings after his father passed away.

What are your family stories and are you sharing them?

“When a society or a civilization perishes, one condition can always be found. They forgot where they came from.” –Carle Sandburg

Life is Like Riding a Bike

"Life is a lot like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you have to keep moving."  --Albert Einstein

The Art of Silhouette

Clay Rice, one of the greatest living silhouette artists in the world, visited us at Familius this week to take part in the Rootstech conference in Salt Lake City and discuss his new books. In addition to performing, lecturing, discussing illustration, music lyrics, and the art and business of children's book publishing, Clay agreed to cut silhouettes for each of my children, except Konnor who is in the military and Elizabeth who was asleep.  With a lamp, scissors, and some contact paper and in under ninety seconds Clay created one-of-a-kind silhouettes. The process is amazing to witness. 

This year clay will cut his one millionth silhouette and it will certainly be done while signing a copy of his new books  The Lonely Shadow and Mama, Let's Make a Moon, releasing this May. 

Enjoy this short video where Clay demonstrates how he creates a silhouette of my son Christian.

The Anti-Bullying Movement

I remember when my oldest son was bullied in grade school. He tried to patiently ignore the taunting, the provokes, the pencils in the back, the tripping, the stealing, etc. He chatted with us a bit and we counseled him to ignore it, not understanding how best to deal with the situation. The bullying escalated until one day, in class, it went too far and my son jumped from his desk, pulled the other boy from his desk, threw him to the ground, and began punching him like in the movie “A Christmas Story.”

Both boys were taken to the office, suspended, and then brought back in for counseling with their parents. We received information about the school policy, what was to be reported, how one should respond to a bully, who to talk to. . . all after the incident. Never had anyone provided information to us about what to do if bullying occurred. It was like seeing a “Speed bump” sign after the speed bump.

After ten years I’m still not sure what the appropriate action is. And, bullying has become a serious issue in our society, both online and physically. Brooks Gibbs, an anti-bullying expert, who Familius is talking with about books and videos and the anti-bullying movement, has a unique perspective. It’s counterintuitive, different from the current policies, and aligns with many of history’s greatest teachers.

Listen, read, and consider. Is Brook’s response the best response to bullying in today’s society?

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Interview

Lite-Brites!

"First your kids got 'Lite-brites,' thousands of tiny colored plastic reflectors they’re supposed to arrange on a pegboard to make pictures with.  What they prefer, of course, is to scatter the damn things everywhere.  For years you clean up Lite-brites.  Then your wife brings home an 'Indian dress' for your daughter, which is covered with beaded fringe, bits of which are constantly falling off the dress.  Soon you can’t take a step in the house without encountering this new form of litter.  Then, just when you think you’ve finally vacuumed up the last beaded fringe, Grandma comes over with a pink feather boa for your daughter.  Within hours your living room looks like a psychedelic henhouse.  Grandma, of course, is long gone."

--from Glad to Be Dad:  A Call to Fatherhood by Tim J. Myers

Our Human Heart

A friend of mine recently returned from serving a humanitarian mission in the Australian outback. While sharing his many experiences, he recounted stories of how families, through challenges, grew to love more richly and profoundly. He talked about our hearts, the center of love.

He said, “The human heart is made to expand indefinitely.”

How is your heart expanding?

Publishing: The Future?

As many of you engage with us in this publishing world, we thought you would appreciate a recent interview with John Ingram, the CEO of Ingram. Familius works with Ingram on digital distribution, printing, and print book distribution. I personally know John and feel that we are fortunate to work with this forward-thinking company. 

Regarding the dramatic changes in the industry he said, “I think it’s going to continue to be an environment in transition. I think it will continue to be about both physical and digital, and I think it really is going to require all of the participants. We talk about being brave, not stupid — it’s a time for people who are brave and willing to take some calculated risks. There’s no way around it; if you want to be a leader in this environment, you’ve got to make some calculated bets about the future. In my case, we’re doing it, and I feel very fortunate to have a good team that can help me to stay on the brave side and not fall over into stupid.”

At Familius, we are working hard not to fall over into stupid. 

Where is Your Home?

“So then, uh. . . where is your home? Exactly?"

We get that question a lot. But we never know how to answer it adequately. Maybe that is because the question itself is inadequate or altogether the wrong question to ask in the first place. Home means something more than a where. It is not a structure, not an address, not a city, not even a country. I am beginning to wonder if home is even a place at all.

Home, perhaps, is a disposition of the soul, an acknowledgment that I share with another soul, a certain intimate narrative. That narrative, that story, twists and curls and splutters and flows, ; it folds back on itself defying conventional chronology, suggesting timelessness while weaving the strands of our most consuming questions and even exploring those questions for which we have no language yet.

Home, then, might be the nexus of many individual narratives, not a fixed port, but a portal through which lives have passed and are passing, seeking definition and connectivity. Home, for me at least, has come to mean that sense of intertwining, one of unity and comfort, a state of being where you no longer need to tug at the seams and hemline of your spirit to feel at ease. It's when you feel something deep and native within you expand, enlarge, illumine.

From Global Mom, releasing June 2013. 

Boys Will Be Boys

One night a few years ago my oldest son came home very late with one of his friends. They sheepishly came into my bedroom and said they had a problem. “We went mudding with your car and it’s stuck,” my son said.

“How stuck?” I asked.

“Up to the wheel wells,” he said. His friend cautiously stood behind him.

“What are you going to do about it?” I asked, still lying in my bed reading, my wife beside me.

“I think we’ll get it unstuck.”

I looked at both of them and smiled. “That’s a good idea. I’ll see you in the morning.”

They left to dig out the car. My wife was furious. “How could you just let them walk away? What about your car? What about that they didn’t ask for permission. What about the fact that we didn’t know where they were?”

I put my book down and said, “Two teenage boys were out mudding. They weren’t chasing girls. They weren’t drinking. They weren’t doing drugs. Getting the car stuck while mudding is exactly the kind of activity I’d like them to be involved in.”

“Well. . . “ was all she said.

The boys returned after three a.m., covered with mud from head to toe. The next day they washed my car.

Often the activity itself is punishment enough.

A Mother's Advice

“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”  ― Erma Bombeck